Sword Art Online: Galliard of an Autumn King
by Nahnashi
Summary: A lighthearted short story following Kirito and Premiere on their quest to defeat Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King.


Sword Art Online:

Galliard of an Autumn King

"When I see Argo again I'm gonna kill her."

It was about an hour ago that we'd all decided to have a Halloween party, and less than fifteen minutes had passed since I was assigned the task of slaying "Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King." Everyone was pitching in to help prepare, and we had split up the work by parties of two or three. Yuuki and Asuna were in charge of preparing food for the event while Lisbeth, Philia and Silica gathered materials that the first pair would later use to make costumes out of. Leafa and Sinon were put in charge of decorations, as well as coming up with Halloween-themed party games. Yui and Strea went to work planning the event and coming up with prizes for Leafa and Sinon's games. That left Klein, Agil and I on food acquisition detail. Asuna and Yuuki had enough ingredients to work with to make a few snacks and desserts, but our job was getting meat for the main course.

Everything was going smoothly until Argo barged in. "Ki-boy!" she blurted from the doorway. "Heard yer havin' a party! I got a little proposition for ya."

She then went on to regale us with the rumors she'd heard about a special Halloween-themed boss-level mob that supposedly appeared somewhere in the Oldrobe Forest area. That and the name, Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King, was all the info she had. The rest was for us to fill in.

We declined as politely as we could, telling her we already had plans for a party and that everyone was busy preparing, but that didn't dissuade her. For the Rat had a secret weapon. An infallible Plan B.

"Y'know, Asuna…" she said, smirking as though she'd already gotten her way. "I hear the Pumpkin King drops a rare ingredient that makes for a killer pumpkin pie."

And that's the story of how killing the Pumpkin King became my sworn duty as a man—or, at least, that's how Klein had put it. I was just finishing stocking up on potions at a stall in the Market District when I felt a tug on my sleeve.

"Good tidings, Kirito."

"Oh, hey, Premiere," I said to the small, blue-eyed girl. "What brings you to the Market District? Shopping?"

"I have no preordained reason for visiting this location," she said in her usual monotone.

"Oh, so you're just taking a stroll, then?"

"I am indeed. What is your purpose for being at this stall?"

"Ah, that. I was just buying a few potions is all."

"Potions…?" She tilted her head to the side. "Am I correct in assuming this means you are planning an excursion?"

"Well…I'm not sure I'd phrase it that way, but yeah. I'm heading to Oldrobe Forest to look for an event boss."

"I see… I will accompany you on this endeavour, if you would permit me."

"Hmm…" I furrowed my brow and stroked my chin for a moment. "I'm not sure… It could be dangerous." In Sword Art: Origin, NPCs like Premiere couldn't respawn. If something happened to her she'd be gone forever, and the Cardinal System would replace her with a brand new NPC with new looks, new memories, and a new personality.

"That is not a problem. If I am with you, I shall be safe from harm."

"Well…when you put it that way… I guess it should be fine. We can always retreat if it looks like too much for us."

"These terms are acceptable." The corners of her mouth rose a tiny bit as I opened my menu and sent her a party invitation. After a second of watching her poke the options in her menu, a new HP bar bearing the name "Premiere" appeared beneath mine in the top left corner of my vision.

With our party formed, Premiere and I made our way to the Teleport Gate Plaza and stepped up to the platform. "Teleport Oldrobe!" we called out together. There was a flash of bluish white light and the bustling scenery of the Town of Beginnings vanished, replaced with an eerie fog and black, dead trees as far as the eye could see.

"Is it just me, or did they up the spooky factor for this place?"

"The trees are without leaves, and the fog does seem a bit more dense than I recall."

"So it's not just me, then? Guess they changed it for Halloween. Even the BGM is kind of creepy…"

"Bi ji emu? I do not understand this…"

"R-right…" Premiere was so lifelike that sometimes I forgot she was an NPC. It made sense that she couldn't hear the background music players heard ingame. "Nevermind that. Let's start looking for the boss mob, shall we?"

"Yes, we shall."

We spent a good forty minutes wandering through Oldrobe Forest searching for the Pumpkin King, but the fog was so thick we could barely see a meter in front of us. Every now and then a skeleton or phantom mob would burst out of the bushes along the path, going for a cheap jump scare like in a cheesy American horror film. They got Premiere a couple of times at first, causing her to jump and squeal a bit, but once she got used to it the jump scares lost their effect. If it were Asuna here with me instead of Premiere, these ghosts would have brought our progress to a screeching halt. I found myself reminiscing about the time I first learned she was afraid of stuff like this back on the fifth floor of Aincrad, but another skeleton jumped out of a bush and screamed "boo!" Lost in my thoughts, it was me who jumped this time.

We searched for another ten minutes, then twenty, then thirty. Still no sign of the Pumpkin King.

"Jeez, this is taking forever. I wish Argo had been a little more specific about this thing's location."

"Do you not have some inclination as to where we should search?"

"Nope. At this rate, we could be wandering the forest all night."

"That would mean…more time spent with Kirito…"

"Hm? Did you say something, Premiere?"

"Ah…! Yes. I said that these circumstances are preferable, are they not? I believe the phrase 'thrill of the hunt' is appropriate in this instance."

"Well, I don't know about all that. But you're right about one thing. Exploration, adventure, delving into the unknown in search of treasure and rare monsters… All of those things are par for the course in an MMORPG, and they're a part of what makes them so much fun. I guess I let myself forget that, for a moment. Thanks for reminding me to focus on having fun, Premiere."

"I do not understand most of what you said," Premiere said quietly, her cheeks turning pink for some reason. "But I am glad I could be helpful to you, Kirito."

We walked in silence for a long time until Premiere stopped suddenly. "What's up?" I asked her. "Everything alright?"

"Kirito," she said. She pointed at something in the treeline on her right. "Look there. I believe I have located the Pumpkin King."

"Huh? Where? I don't see it…" I squinted hard as I traced the trajectory of her finger. There was a rustling sound, and then a pumpkin roughly the size of a soccer ball hopped out of a bush and looked at us with two glowing, yellow eyes and a hastily carved mouth which grinned mischievously.

"Well, it's a pumpkin, alright. But…" I focused my gaze on the pumpkin. A red cursor appeared, marking it as a hostile mob, accompanied by a nametag reading "Jack-O'-Lantern." "I don't think that's the 'king' we're looking for."

"That it is regrettable. However, I find it to be rather cute." Premiere walked over to the Jack-O'-Lantern and crouched down, patting it on the head. The mob hopped excitedly as she approached. "Good pumpkin," Premiere cooed.

I watched the exchange, bemused by the friendliness of the little pumpkin. Why would a mob with a red cursor allow players to approach it like this? Unless…

In that same moment, the Jack-O'-Lantern's model began to blink, slowly at first, then more rapidly.

"Premiere, watch out!"

She looked back at me, clearly confused. I jumped forward, looping my arm around her waist and pulled her back, tossing her to the ground about a meter away from the blinking pumpkin, then dove on top of her, shielding her with my body.

"Kirito, what is wr—" BOOM.

I looked at my HP bar in the top left corner and sighed in relief to see it was still green. The explosion had taken a good chunk out of my hitpoints despite the distance I'd put between myself and the Jack-O'-Lantern, but nothing to be alarmed about. The second HP bar told me Premiere hadn't taken any damage, but I figured I should check on her anyway.

"Are you ok, Premiere?"

"Yes, I am unharmed. Although your hand is in a location that I wish it were not, so I request you get off of me, please."

"Hm…?" I looked down at where my hand was. "S-sorry!" I jumped to my feet and held my hands up in a gesture of surrender. "It was an accident, I swear!"

Premiere picked herself up and dusted off her dress. "Thank you for saving me, Kirito. Shall we press on?"

"R…right…" Premiere's tempered reaction caught me off guard. If that had happened with any of the other girls they'd have me on my knees with my forehead pressed to the ground in apology, and there'd definitely be some kind of favor involved to prove my innocence. But I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak, so I dropped it. "At any rate… I've never seen a mob like that before. If it's appearing here now, I think it means we're getting closer."

"I concur. It stands to reason that the minion pumpkins would not stray far from their master."

"Exactly. So let's keep up the good work. At this rate, we'll find the Pumpkin King in no time."

Premiere and I continued down the trail. The deeper into the forest we got, the more clues there were that we were getting close to the Pumpkin King's lair. The fog got thicker, the trees had faces on them—I couldn't tell if they were meant to be scary or funny—more Jack-O'-Lantern mobs appeared, and I could swear I saw little blue lights dancing just beyond the treeline. "Yup," I said aloud. "Asuna would definitely hate this."

We came out of the forest into a small clearing with stone pillars sporting blue flames lining a pathway which led to an opening in the side of a huge rock wall.

"Huh… I don't remember this dungeon being here during the beta."

"Indeed. This cave seems to have been formed recently."

"Yeah, you're right. That settles it—this dungeon has to be related to the Halloween Event."

"Yeeaaaaaaagh!" A loud scream came from the mouth of the cave.

"!?" I jumped back and crouched low, grabbing the hilt of my Annealed Blade on my back. "Be careful, Premiere! Something's coming!"

"Understood." Premiere drew the rapier from her waist and stood ready.

Three figures came sprinting out of the cave. As soon as they were clear of the entrance they doubled over, panting heavily. Their green cursors told me they were players.

"Jeez," one of them said between breaths. "That thing is a nightmare!"

"You can say that again… Hey, where's Haruhi…?"

"She…she didn't make it…" The first player stared at the ground with his fists clenched. "She stayed behind to cover our escape…"

"Dammit!" The third player, who had been laying on the ground, slammed his fist into the dirt. "How could we let this happen!? Haruhiiiiii!"

"Eeeeeek!" Another scream came from the mouth of the cave and I could just make out the shadowy outline of a player barreling down the narrow tunnel. "Watch out!" The fourth player, a girl, leaped out of the cave, practically flying. She slammed into the player who'd exited first and they both fell on top of the other two, creating a humorous heap of bodies with limbs jutting out in every direction.

"Haruhi…?" the third player muttered. "Haruhi! You're alive! Thank goodness!"

"Haruhi's ok!" said the second player.

"Hooray!" The three male players pumped their fists in the air and cheered.

"No thanks to you jerks! You left me to die back there!" The girl called Haruhi got to her feet and shouted with her hands on her hips. "What the heck is wrong with you guys!?"

"We're sorry, Haruhi!" All three men prostrated themselves and apologized to Haruhi, smacking their heads on the ground repeatedly in perfect sync.

"It's just…that thing was really scary. Like…really, really scary! Y'know?"

"Ugh," Haruhi sighed. "You three are useless."

"Sorry to interrupt," I said as I stepped toward them. "But were you guys just fighting a boss mob called the 'Pumpkin King' by any chance?"

"Yeah…" Haruhi looked at me, surprised. "How'd you know?"

"Just a hunch," I said. "Were you planning on going back in?"

"No way!" The first player made an "X" with his arms. "I'm not going back in there."

"I second that," said the second player.

"Same here," said the third.

Haruhi sighed again. "I guess that's a no, then. We'll have to prepare a little more if we want to take that thing down."

"In that case," I said, "we'd like to give it a try in the meantime. Hope that's alright."

"We…?" Haruhi and the three male players finally noticed Premiere standing behind me. "Is that an NPC?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah, that's right," I said.

"Good tidings," Premiere chimed as she sheathed her rapier and stepped forward.

"Hello there!" Haruhi smiled and bowed politely.

"Why did you bring an NPC with you?" the first player asked. "Is she part of a quest related to the Halloween Event?"

"No, it's nothing like that." I waved my hand back and forth in front of my face. "She's my friend."

"Your…friend…?" The player gave me a look of subtle pity, as if I were some lonely shut-in who resorted to calling inanimate objects my friends.

"Well, anyway," said Haruhi, "if you're going in there, be careful. That thing is seriously tough, probably a bit much for a party of two. Though I can't stop you if that's what you want to do…"

"Don't worry, we'll be careful."

"Oh, and one more thing! Did you see any of those exploding pumpkin things on your way here?"

"Yeah."

"Tons of those things spawn in the boss room, just so you know."

"Got it. Thanks for the heads up."

I waved as I passed the group of players and stepped into the cave. Premiere followed me, and the other four started making their way back toward the Teleport Gate.

"Jeez… I can't see a thing," I groaned. I had my hands out in front of me, walking like a zombie from a cheesy horror flick, but I couldn't even see them in the darkness.

"Nor can I." Premiere had grabbed a handful of cloth from the tail of my coat and was walking carefully behind me.

"If this keeps up, I don't know how we're supposed to fight the boss."

"Kirito, I see a light."

"Hm…?" I squinted through the darkness and saw a tiny bit of blue light reflecting off the cave wall about five meters ahead of us. "Hey…you're right!"

"Let us make haste." Premiere let go of my coat and broke into a run, passing me.

"Wait." I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled back gently. "It's just a feeling, but I think that light might be coming from the boss room. We should be careful."

"…Yes, you're right. Apologies, I neglected to consider that."

"Don't sweat it. Come on, let's check it out."

I let go of Premiere and started to walk again, slowly. The light intensified as we got closer to the wall across from us, and when we rounded the corner we stopped before the entrance to a massive room lit by huge columns with bright blue flames on top of them arranged in a circle along the walls.

"Yeah, this is definitely the boss room."

"I have located the Pumpkin King, Kirito." Premiere pointed to the far end of the room where a massive pumpkin at least five meters tall and three meters wide sat atop a mass of green vines which spread across the walls and floor of the room with numerous smaller pumpkins growing along their lengths.

"That definitely looks like a pumpkin fit to be a king…" The huge pumpkin had a wide green stem at the top that was broken off in a way that left a jagged edge, making it resemble a crown. But when I trained my gaze on the pumpkin the system didn't display a cursor or nametag. "Let's take a closer look. Be careful, though, and be ready to run if I give the signal. Cool?"

"Affirmative, this plan is very 'cool.' I shall follow your lead."

"Right."

I drew my Annealed Blade from the scabbard on my back and Premiere drew her rapier. Slowly, we made our way across the room. My eyes were aimed downward as I stepped carefully over pumpkins and tangles of green vines. I stumbled once, but managed to regain my balance before hitting the floor. "Dammit… This is gonna be a pain."

"Ki…Kirito…"

"Yeah? What's up, Premiere?"

"It watches us."

"What're you…" I looked at Premiere and followed her gaze to the huge pumpkin.

"?!"

In the very center of the orange mass was a huge eyeball whose black iris darted side to side between Premiere and I.

"Was that…there before…?"

"I do not believe it was."

"Getting closer to it must have triggered the—"

A loud cracking sound cut me off as a jagged split formed just beneath the pumpkin's eye. The crack opened wide like a mouth and the pumpkin roared.

"RAAAAAGH!"

Six long, thick vines began to writhe around on the ground before rising into the air. They were attached to the massive pumpkin, who was controlling them like limbs. Finally, the system displayed a dark red cursor, almost black, and a nametag for the creature reading "NM: Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King."

Cucurbitus raised a tendril high into the air and brought it down toward us. Premiere and I stepped in opposite directions and the tendril slammed onto the ground between us with enough force to shake the earth.

"You alright, Premiere?"

"I am unharmed."

"Good. Let's show this thing what we're made of!"

Premiere and I bent low to the ground and ran at full speed, dodging a few more tendril slams as we closed the distance between us and the Pumpkin King. Once we were close, it's attack patterns changed, switching from long-ranged slam attacks to more precise stabbing motions. I sidestepped a tendril as it flew toward me and it pierced the ground, becoming lodged in the stone floor for a moment. I hit it twice quickly with Horizontal Arc before Cucurbitus got it loose and lifted it back into the air. I shifted my attention to the body and used Vertical Arc, carving a crude "V" shape into the Pumpkin King's skin. At the same time, Premiere used the rapier skill Parallel Sting, jabbing it twice in the blink of an eye, then hopped backward to prepare for the next attack.

"Rwaaaaaagh!" Cucurbitus uttered a piercing howl and swung a tendril horizontally, hitting both Premiere and I simultaneously. The damage was minimal, but the force sent us flying back about twelve meters, almost all the way to the other end of the boss room. As we got to our feet we heard a few popping sounds and I noticed three pumpkins fall from the vines along the cave walls. The pumpkins wiggled a few times each and then turned around to reveal mischievous faces carved into their skin. Red cursors appeared above them, along with the name "Jack-O'-Lantern."

"Crap… Not good." The Jack-O'-Lanterns hopped merrily toward Premiere and I while Cucurbitus raised two tendrils into the air—one for each of us—and slammed them downward. Premiere stepped gracefully out of harm's way, but the direction the tendrils made me jump landed me right next to the Jack-O'Lanterns. One of them cried out something that sounded like "woohoo!" as it began to blink, slowly at first, then rapidly. I turned on my heel and started to run, but I wasn't fast enough. The Jack-O'-Lantern exploded and the force threw me forward. I rolled as I hit the ground and ended up in a kneeling position. I had just enough time to examine my HP bar and notice I'd lost over forty five percent of my health before another tendril attack came flying toward me. I rolled sideways, barely avoiding it. I pushed myself to my feet as quickly as I could and scanned the room, but there was no sign of Premiere.

"Premiere? Premiere! Where are you!?"

"Kirito!" The call came from above me.

"Huh…?" I looked up to see Premiere dangling by her ankle from one of the Pumpkin King's tendrils.

"My apologies, Kirito. I have been compromised. Please rescue me immediately."

"Can't you save yourself? I'm kind of busy!" I used Vorpal Strike, quickly charging a rapidly blinking Jack-O'-Lantern with the sound of a screeching jet engine. When the tip of my sword made contact, the Jack-O'-Lantern's HP vanished in an instant and it burst into countless polygonal shards.

"I cannot. If I remove my hands from my skirt it will fall down and then Kirito will see my panties. Asuna has informed me that it would be most improper to allow you to see such things."

It figured that Premiere would choose a time like this to be keen to societal norms. I wondered what kind of circumstances had lead to Asuna giving Premiere a talk like that, but I pushed the thought out of my mind for the time being.

"Fine, just hold on a sec!" The Pumpkin King lifted Premiere a bit higher and I worried it might start swinging her back and forth, slamming her on the ground like some kind of cartoon bad guy. I slung my sword over my right shoulder and waited a moment for the system to recognize the pre-motion. The second the blade began to glow red with a whirring sound effect I leapt high into the air, using the one-hit Sword Skill Sonic Leap. I somersaulted forward in midair and landed a clean slice on the tendril that held Premiere. It didn't sever the appendage like I had hoped it would, but it did cause Cucurbitus to drop her. Premiere twisted her inverted frame in midair like a cat and managed to land on her feet.

When I landed I heard three more popping sounds. Naturally, three more pumpkins fell from the cave walls and became Jack-O'-Lanterns, then hopped toward us. With my attention on the three new Jack-O'-Lanterns I hadn't noticed the last one from earlier bounding up to me from behind.

"Kirito!" Premiere bolted forward. Without hesitation, and likely without giving it a whole lot of thought, she pulled her foot back and kicked the rapidly blinking Jack-O'-Lantern with all her might. I flinched, expecting the impact to trigger the explosion immediately. Instead, the pumpkin flew across the room while screaming "waaaaaah!" The sound got quieter as it traveled further away from us, then the pumpkin exploded harmlessly against the wall of the cave.

"Nice save, Premiere!"

"Thank you for the praise."

I turned my attention briefly back to Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King, specifically its four HP bars. "You've gotta be kidding me…!" As far as I could tell, the Pumpkin King hadn't taken any damage at all from our combined attacks. I had already hit it with two Sword Skills, three if I counted the Sonic Leap to its tendril, and Premiere had hit it with at least one, adding up to seven hits in total. Against a boss mob I wouldn't expect that to do much, but it didn't seem as though Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King had lost a single hitpoint.

"I think we'd better get out of here," I said as the other three pumpkins began to blink and Cucurbitus waved its tendrils frantically. "Come on!" I quickly sheathed my sword, then grabbed Premiere's hand and booked it for the exit. We ran through the darkness, relying on nothing more than my muscle memory to navigate the pitch black cavern. After a few moments we burst out into the clearing, doubled over, and started panting.

"Phew… That was close," I gasped.

"Hrmmm…" Premiere mumbled quietly.

"Are you ok?" I asked, turning to face her.

"Y…yes…" I followed her eyes to our hands which were still clasped together.

"S-sorry!" I let go quickly and backed away a few steps.

"We are at an impasse," Premiere said, back to her usual self in an instant.

"Yeah, you're right about that. I mean, I knew that thing was gonna be tough, but we didn't do any damage at all."

I sat down in the grass with my back against one of the stone pillars lining the pathway and looked at the clock in the top right corner of my vision. It read "19:02." "Damn," I said. "It's already seven o'clock. At this rate it'll be midnight before we beat that thing."

Premiere sat down in the grass beside me. "Perhaps we should enlist the help of the others?"

"Nah, that won't work. I'm sure they're all busy with their own preparations. Besides, we aren't doing any damage… I doubt it would make much of a difference if we added more bodies to the equation. If anything, the fight would just become more chaotic."

"Hm… I agree."

"There has to be something we missed… Maybe a flag we have to trigger, or something in the boss room that could help us out."

"Perhaps. Although searching the area will prove most difficult while evading the Pumpkin King and his minions."

"Yeah… On that note, isn't it a little strange that when you kicked that Jack-O'-Lantern it went flying?"

"Strange? Why do you think so?"

"I figured, if anything, kicking it would only speed up the explosion. Normally the Cardinal System prevents players from moving mobs and NPCs. It could be different since you're an NPC, too. However… Hrmmm…" I scratched my head and furrowed my brow. "When you kicked it and it went flying, it played a sound effect. It seemed specific, like flying through the air is what caused that sound effect to play. Almost as if…" And that's when it hit me.

"!" I inhaled sharply as an idea formed in my head. A really, really bad idea.

"What is it, Kirito?"

"Premiere, listen carefully. I have a plan."

. . .

After a quick explanation of my horrible, incredibly dangerous plan, Premiere and I made our way back into the cave and through the tunnel to the boss room. When we got there, Cucurbitus had returned to its idle state on the far end of the room. No big eyeball, no jagged mouth or tendrils, and no Jack-O'-Lanterns bouncing around on the floor. If the Pumpkin King had lost any HP it would have regenerated all of it once we'd lost its aggro, but that wasn't a factor in this case.

"Ok, Premiere. Are you ready?"

"Affirmative. Let us seize victory."

"Right. Let's go!"

"Haaaaaaah!" We both let out a battle cry as we drew our swords, sprinting across the boss room despite the vines and pumpkins. When we got within fifteen meters of Cucurbitus it opened its eye and began its transformation. Then, as soon as the cursor and HP bars came into view, I closed the remaining distance with Vorpal Strike. Premiere followed my lead and used Linear to charge the remaining distance and the points of our swords connected with the Pumpkin King's body simultaneously.

"Rwoowaaaaagh!" Cucurbitus howled as though in pain, but its HP bar didn't budge. He swung a tendril toward us as he had before. There was no way we could have dodged it, but we didn't need to. The attack knocked us back across the room without causing much damage. Premiere and I rolled to recover and waited for what came next.

Just as it had happened the last time Cucurbitus made this attack, three pumpkins popped off the vines on the walls and went from ambient decorations to full-on Jack-O'-Lantern mobs in a matter of seconds. Once they'd caught sight of us they began to bounce gleefully in our direction.

"Premiere, now!"

"Understood!"

At the same time, Premiere and I sheathed our swords and bolted straight toward the Jack-O'-Lanterns. Since her build relied more on AGI than mine, she pulled ahead of me and made it to the mobs first. Then, with the speed and precision of a pro soccer player, she kicked the Jack-O'-Lantern closest to her as hard as she could.

"Waaaaaaaah!" the creature called out as it flew through the air, blinking like a siren, straight toward Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King. There was another soft popping sound as the Jack-O'-Lantern bounced off Cucurbitus, then a half-second of silence before it exploded.

Cucurbitus let out another pained cry and rolled backward a bit from the force. The explosion had taken a respectable chunk out of the first of his HP bars.  
"Yes!" I cheered. "It worked!" As I celebrated, still running, I bent low to the ground and scooped up the second of the three Jack-O'-Lanterns. Then I kicked the third toward the Pumpkin King and hurled the other with all my might. Both bounced off Cucurbitus before exploding, taking out two more chunks of the boss's HP.

Cucurbitus groaned and rolled back further, crashing to the ground and laying there idly with its tendrils hanging limp by its sides.

"Kirito," Premiere called, drawing her sword. "I believe this is our chance to strike."

"Roger that, I'm right behind you." I drew my Annealed Blade and followed closely behind Premiere as she ran straight toward the prone Pumpkin King. Once we were in range, I hit it four times with Horizontal Square and she three times with Delta Attack. The Pumpkin King didn't rise immediately, so we each hit it once more with Horizontal Arc and Shooting Star for good measure.

As soon as Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King started to pick itself up, Premiere and I darted back to the other end of the room and waited. Sure enough, more Jack-O'-Lanterns fell to the floor—four of them this time—and we kicked and threw them at the Pumpkin King.

The battle went on like this for about fifteen minutes before the last of the Pumpkin King's HP bars was empty and the boss glowed white before bursting into hundreds of fragments like a giant glass sculpture. A message displayed before me reading "Congratulations!" along with a list of item drops, Col, and EXP rewards.

"Phew… We did it!" I closed my hand and extended it to Premiere, who pounded it with her tiny fist.

"Well done, Kirito."

"You too, I couldn't have done it without you." I smiled triumphantly.

"That's not true…" Premiere blushed. "You're a very talented warrior, and it was your idea to use the minion pumpkins as weapons."

"That's true, but I never would have gotten that idea if you hadn't saved my butt by kicking one of them away from me."

"Yes…" She looked down at the floor and frowned. "Although I wish there had been another way."

"Yeah… I know what you mean. It doesn't really seem fair that those little guys were made just to be used as weapons, whether by the players or Cucurbitus himself."

"Hmm…" Premiere continued to stare at the floor with her shoulders slumped.

"A-anyway…" I racked my brain for something to distract her with, then finally examined the drop I'd gotten from Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King. "Wait… Seriously!? Holy crap!"

"Hm?" Premiere lifted her head and looked at me. "Is something the matter?"

"No! Just the opposite, in fact. The boss dropped something called 'Golden Pumpkin.' It says it's an S-Class ingredient!"

"I do not understand…" She tilted her head to the side.

"Words won't do it justice. You're in for a real treat, Premiere. I can't wait to taste this after Asuna's cooked it up!"

"Cook… So you can eat this, then?"

"Yeah, and it doesn't get any better than S-Class. This stuff is gonna knock your socks off!"

"…" There was a long silence as Premiere processed the information, and I could swear I saw her drool a bit. "Let us make haste, then," she said quickly. She grabbed the sleeve of my coat and tugged, walking so fast toward the cave exit she was practically running.

"H-hey—take it easy! You're gonna pull my arm off!" But despite my exaggeration I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. If it meant she was happy, I could tolerate a bit of virtual pain.

Premiere dragged me all the way through the cave without slowing down for a second, finding her way through the darkness without so much as a stumble. She didn't even have to trace the cave wall with her hand. It never ceased to amaze me how much food could motivate this girl.

When we finally reached the exit, we weren't alone in the clearing.

"Premiere—wait!" I pulled back on her hand so she was beside me and reached over my shoulder for the hilt of my Annealed Blade. There was a sea of Jack-O'-Lanterns waiting for us at the mouth of the cave, bouncing frantically around the clearing.

"Wait…what…?" Their cursors weren't red. In place of the red cursors characteristic to all hostile mobs, the Jack-O'-Lanterns had yellow cursors, marking them as NPCs. When they spotted us they all bounced spastically in place and hooted, almost as though they were cheering.

"It's ok," said Premiere. She pulled her hand free and walked into the ocean of bouncing pumpkins. I stood tense, ready to strike at a moment's notice. "Hello," she said, crouching low to the ground. The Jack-O'-Lanterns swarmed around her, each one bouncing as if trying to get her attention.

"I don't understand," she said. "What is it you wish to tell us?"

One of the Jack-O'-Lanterns hopped into the air toward Premiere and she caught it, holding it in her arms. It cooed and made all sorts of high-pitched sounds, nuzzling into her chest. The others did the same at her feet.

"What is it…?" she asked them. Of course, they didn't answer.

"I think…" I relaxed and let go of my sword, then knelt beside Premiere. "I think they're trying to say thank you."

"Huh…?" Premiere turned her head to face me, tilting it to the side.

"By the looks of it, Cucurbitus was more a tyrant than a king. I think he was controlling the Jack-O'-Lanterns somehow. They didn't want to attack travelers on the road, much less to do so by exploding. They only did it because the Pumpkin King made them. At least…that's what I think." One of the Jack-O'-Lanterns a made a "woopie!" sort of noise and hopped, bopping me on the shoulder before bouncing back to the ground. I took that to be a sign that I was right. "You saved them, Premiere."

"Oh… Is that really true?" The Jack-O'-Lanterns all cried out "woohooooo!" and bounced more feverishly. Premiere giggled and patted a few of them on their heads. "You're welcome."

Premiere and I waved goodbye as the Jack-O'-Lanterns cheered one last time and bounced away, deep into the forest. Then Premiere looked at me, smiling brighter than I'd ever seen before.

"Let's go home," she said softly.

. . .

By the time Premiere and I finally made it back to the Town of Beginnings it was well-past eight o'clock. We headed straight from the Teleport Gate through the Market District and to the inn by the fountain where the others were waiting for us.

"Daddy!" A bundle of white cloth and long black hair about half my height slammed into me and wrapped its arms around my waist the moment I came through the door. "Welcome back!"

"Hey, Yui. Sorry to keep you guys waiting."

"You should be!" The call came from across the room where a girl with short, pink hair was stuffing her face full of pastries from a buffet-style table full of Halloween-themed desserts. "We weren't gonna save you any snacks, you know."

"Gee, thanks, Liz."

"Don't listen to her," Strea said, approaching me. "We forgive you for being late. Hug!" Strea wrapped her arms around me, trapping my own arms so I couldn't escape, and squeezed.

"Ow… S-Strea…! Ease up, you're gonna kill me!"

"Of course not, silly, it's a safe zone!" She giggled and squeezed even harder as I gasped for air.

"C-can't…breathe…!"

"Strea!" A worried voice came from my right. "Take it easy!"

"Awww, fine." Strea pouted playfully and put me down.

"Phew…" I bent over to catch my breath. "Thanks for the save, Asuna. Few have suffered the wrath of Strea's legendary hugs and lived to tell the tale."

"Any time." Asuna smiled warmly. "I'm glad you made it back safely. And it looks like you found Premiere, too."

"Good tidings, everyone."

"Welcome back, Premiere!" everyone said together.

"I hope we didn't keep you guys waiting too long," I said.

"Not at all," said Asuna. "You're just in time, actually. Yuuki and I just finished cooking a little while ago, and Leafa and Sinonon are just finishing with the decorations."

"Kazuto!" An elven avatar clad in green with long, blonde hair hopped down from a table and bounded toward me. "Look up at the ceiling! Look at all the little ghosts I made!"

I looked up at the ceiling, which was covered in little paper cutouts of ghosts.

"Pretty spooky, right?" she beamed.

Actually, the little guys were more cute than spooky. But I figured it was best to humor her. "Yeah, very spooky. Good job, Sugu."

"Guys!" a high-pitched and youthful voice called for attention. "You're all crowding him before he's had a chance to sit down! I'm sure Kirito's exhausted after being out on that quest all day!"

"Oh, shoot!" Leafa looked down at her feet. "You're totally right, Silica."

"Skraaaw!" A small, blue, feathered dragon chirped from its perch on Silica's head.

Silica giggled. "Pina says you have to be more considerate of others."

"I'm sorry, Pina!" Leafa bowed to the little dragon. "And you too, Kazuto. Come in, sit down!"

"Sure, that sounds great right about now."

"Yo! The man o' the hour!" A samurai with spiky red hair and a hideous bandana made his way toward me. "Come on, have a seat! You, too, Premiere!" Klein grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me further into the inn, sitting me down at a table. Premiere followed and took the seat beside me. "So, Mr. Black Swordsman, did ya get it?"

"Hm? Get what?"

"Huh!? You gotta be kidding me! Argo's intel was no good!?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you. I got it. But I couldn't have done it without Premiere."

"That is correct," Premiere chimed. "My participation was instrumental in Kirito's victory."

"Ha ha ha!" A loud, baritone laugh came from behind a counter on the other side of the inn. "Looks like our little Premiere's learned a thing or two about boasting," Agil said. "I wonder where she picked that up."

"Klein, definitely," I said.

"What!?" Klein reeled back and posed as though he'd been struck by a sword. "That cuts deep, man! I'm a samurai. It doesn't get any more humble than that."

"Right… Thanks for proving my point."

Laughter filled the inn and I couldn't help but smile. Even though all of us lived in different places, we were able to be together like this whenever we wanted to thanks to virtual reality. Despite the two years I'd spent trapped in a virtual world with death constantly looming overhead, I couldn't help but be grateful for everything the technology had done for me.

"Well," said Sinon, finally stepping down from the table after hanging the last of her spider webs and fake spiders. "I hope Kirito didn't try anything weird while you were out with him."

"Come on!" I wailed. "You know I wouldn't do anything like that!"

"Actually," Premiere said. All eyes turned to her. "He forced me to the ground and grabbed my breast, then requested to see my panties."

There was a long and very uncomfortable silence as the attention shifted from Premiere to me. If looks could kill, I'd be taking critical hits from all directions. I tried to put on an innocent smile.

"I-I-I-I-I," I stammered.

"Kirito!" Asuna cried out as though in pain. "That's not true, right…?"

"I know I'm the one who asked, but…" Sinon looked at me as though looking at a bug with two heads and twelve legs. "I didn't think you'd actually go and do something like that."

"Kirito, how could you do that to poor Premiere!?" Silica accused.

"It's not—I didn't—I wouldn't… This is all a huge misunderstanding!" I held my hands up in surrender.

"Dammit!" Klein shouted at the ceiling. "Why's it always gotta be you!?"

"Klein…" Agil shook his head. "You've got issues, man. Serious issues."

Premiere's expression turned downcast, and she folded her hands in her lap. "Apologies…" she said, and everyone turned to her again. "It seems that my attempt at humor has created a misunderstanding…"

There was another brief pause.

"Oh, so you were just kidding, Premiere?" Silica broke the silence.

"Ha! Good one!" Yuuki winked and gave Premiere a thumbs up.

"Yes, it was only a joke," Premiere chimed. "Mostly."

"'Mostly?'" Asuna, with her hands on her hips, glared daggers at me.

"It's not what you think, I swear!"

"Let me guess," Sinon said, folding her arms. "You thought Premiere's life was in danger, so you grabbed her and, very heroically, pulled her out of harm's way. But, when it was all said and done, you found that your hand had wound up in the wrong place in the heat of the moment. Sound right?"

"W…well…" I scratched my cheek and looked away.

"That assessment is accurate." Premiere nodded enthusiastically. "Kirito saved my life, so I do not wish to cause him grief."

"Yeah, that sounds like Kirito's kind of luck," said Philia, smiling and shaking her head. "More importantly, we're glad you two are ok. Good job protecting Premiere, Kirito!"  
"Nah, it was nothing. If anyone saved anyone, it was Premiere who saved my butt. The way you kicked that exploding pumpkin out of the way was awesome!"

"It was nothing. My body acted of its own accord…" Premiere turned away from me, but I saw her cheeks and ears turn red and wondered what could have caused it.

"Still," Liz started. "I think a penalty is in order for keeping us all waiting and getting fresh with poor little Premiere. Kirito, you are hereby banished from the buffet table."

"What!? That's totally unfair!"

"You have only yourself to blame," she said as she chomped down on a cookie. "May your hunger pangs help you reflect on your misdeeds."

"In that case…" I folded my arms across my chest. "I guess I'll just be keeping this S-Class ingredient to myself."

"What!?" She dropped the other half of her cookie, which shattered into polygonal shards when it hit the ground, and stared at me with her eyes bulging out of her head. Everyone else in the room had the same expression, as though someone had used a copy and paste feature on all of their faces. "Ha…haha… I was just kidding about the banishment thing! You know that, right? Right…?"

"Sure you were. Don't worry, I'll share. Because I'm not greedy, like a certain someone," I teased.

"Hmph!" Liz folded her arms and turned her face away from me, but she could only keep up the facade for about a second before she started to laugh.

"Enough bickering, already!" Yuuki shouted as she climbed onto a chair. "Let's party!"

There was a pleasant drone as we all circled the room, chatting with each other and snatching food off the buffet table. I gave the Golden Pumpkin to Asuna through a trade and she disappeared into the inn's kitchen to prepare it. Meanwhile, after I'd returned to my seat, Yuuki had started roaming the room with a plate of cookies in hand.

"Kirito!" she said when her patrol brought her to me. "Try one! I made 'em myself!" She handed me a cookie from the platter and waited eagerly.

"Wow, that's awesome, Yuuki! They look really good, too. I can tell you worked really hard on them."

"Hehe!" she giggled and flashed me a "V" with her index and middle fingers.

I popped the cookie into my mouth and chewed for a few seconds. "Hmm… Ugh… Ack!" I started to cough.

"Kirito! Are you ok?" Yuuki asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Totally fine, just ate too fast. They're really good, Yuuki!" They were terrible. It tasted as though there was more salt than there was sugar.

"Really? I'm glad you like them! Here, you can have another one!" She snatched another cookie from the plate and offered it to me.

"N-no!" I blurted.

"Hm…?"

"It's just…they're so good! I'd rather let the others have as much as they want, though. Wouldn't want to hog them."

"Aw, that's sweet of you." She grinned and put the cookie back on the platter.

"Tsk tsk," Klein clicked his tongue as he approached us with his hands on his hips. "Shame on you, Kirito! A real man is always happy to receive a treat from a cute girl. Lemme have one, Yuuki!"

"Sure thing, Klein!" Yuuki handed Klein a cookie. He tossed it in the air and caught it in his mouth, then chewed for a few seconds.

"Mm," he mumbled. "Nice work, Yuuki! It's…it's… Agh!" Klein choked and doubled over, clawing at his throat.

"Klein! Are you ok!?" Yuuki patted him on the back.

"Yeah, no worries! They're delicious!" He offered a thumbs up, but I could see a bead of sweat on his virtual skin.

"Thanks! Want another one? I've got plenty!"

"Ah, what's that, Agil!?" Klein shouted across the room.

"Hm?" Agil lifted his head and looked in our direction.

"You need a hand? Got it! I'll be right over! Sorry, Yuuki." Klein clapped his hands together in front of his face and lowered his head. "I'll have to take a rain check. Sorry!"

"Eh?"

Klein turned his back to us and dashed off behind the counter where Agil was loading up plates with what looked like pizza. After a few moments Agil and Klein were moving about the room, handing out the plates.

"Here, Kirito," Agil said, handing me a plate with a slice of pizza on it. "Try it. It's my new and improved recipe."

"Pizza, huh? I'm starting to think that's all you can make."

"Hey, man, that's cold. Besides, if you focus on just one thing you'll get that much better at it. Am I right?"

Premiere nibbled the end of a slice of pizza and swallowed. "Approved. It is very tasty, Mr. Agil."

"Thanks, Premiere. I thought you'd like it."  
"Well, if it's got Premiere's seal of approval then it's gotta be good." I picked up the slice of pizza and took a bite. "Mm, not bad. Spicy."

"See? What'd I tell you? I've never steered you wrong before."

"Attention, everyone!" Yui called from a platform at the back of the room where she stood with Strea before I could make a snide remark. "The Golden Pumpkin Pie is finished! Please be seated, Strea and I will distribute the servings."

Everyone found a seat and waited eagerly.

"Hell yeah, this time I'm not missing out!" Klein pumped his fist in the air. "Today I taste S-Class food!"

"However, there's a catch!" Strea sang. "One of the slices will have a little something 'extra' added to it. Whoever gets the special slice wins a prize!"

Strea and Yui began passing out plates with slices of pumpkin pie on them. Each of us dug into it as soon as it hit our table.

There was a chorus of "Mmmm!" from each table in turn.

"It's amazing!" Said Leafa.

"So yummy! Try some, Pina!" Silica lifted her fork above her head and Pina licked it greedily.

"Skraaaw!" chirped the little dragon.

"So this is S-Class food…" Philia sighed delightedly. "I'm so glad I finally got to taste it!"

Premiere didn't make a sound. I wondered whether she was forgetting to breathe as I watched her shovel bite after bite of pie into her mouth.

"Told you it would be good," I said.

"Mmf," she mumbled without stopping.

Another minute of contented sighs passed by before the last person received their plate of Golden Pumpkin Pie.

"Yooooooooooww!" Klein bolted to his feet, screaming. His tongue hung out of his mouth and he fanned it frantically with his hand. "Hot! Hot! Hot! Hoooooot!"

"We have a winner!" Strea cheered. "Klein! Name your prize! You can have anything you like, from anyone you want!" Strea smiled sweetly and innocently. A little too innocently.

"Water! Water! Aaaaaagh!"

"Comin' right up! Who do you want to give it to you?"

"Silica! Leafa! Kirito! Anyone!"

"You heard the man, Silica!" Strea pointed at Silica and winked like some kind of game show host.

"R-right! Hold on, Klein!" Silica rushed to the kitchen and returned a moment later with a pitcher of water. "Here you go!"  
Klein snatched the pitcher from Silica and leaned back, pouring the liquid down his throat, spilling most of it onto the floor. "Aaahh… That was a close one… Thought I was a goner for a second. Phew!" Klein stood up tall with his hands on his hips. "Alright, hehe! Time to figure out which of you lucky suckers is gonna do my bidding!"

"But Klein," Strea chirped. "You already made your demand. You can't make another one."

"…Huh?"

"You asked Silica to get you some water, and she did. Wish granted!"

"Huh!? You gotta be kidding me! How did I fall for the same bit twice!?" Klein's shoulders slumped. "And the worst part is I couldn't even taste the pie through all that spiciness. S-Class food eludes me again!"

"Oh, come on, Klein," Asuna said, giggling. "Of course we had an extra slice for whoever got the spicy one."

Klein turned to face Asuna, and his face lit up when he spotted the plate of pie in her hands. "Asuna! You're a saint!" He took the plate from her hands and dug in with a fork. As soon as the stuff was in his mouth, tears streamed comically down his avatar's cheeks. "DELICIOUS!" He cried the whole time he ate the Golden Pumpkin Pie.

. . .

The party went on for another hour or so. There were a few more games to be played with prizes like rare items and materials. Liz took the "bobbing for apples" game that Leafa had concocted pretty seriously when a super rare ore was announced as the prize, then looked like she might cry when Agil won it. He let her have it, though, and Liz was so happy she offered him free gear maintenance for the next month. I stayed seated for the most part, not really having any desire to move around after the day I'd had.

"It's almost time!" Yui called out suddenly as the festivities died down.

"Hm?" We all turned to face Yui, eyebrows raised.

"We timed that pretty well, didn't we, sis?" said Strea.

"We did! We managed to get through all of our planned activities just before it started!"

"What're you guys talking about?" I asked.

"The Trick-or-Treat Event!" Yui bubbled.

"Trick-or-Treat Event? What's that?"

"Well, you see," Strea chimed in. "Since Origin has a western setting, the events are more prone to reflect western traditions. So, in this event, we get to go around the city saying "trick or treat!" to the NPCs, and they give us candy!"

"But…" Silica fidgeted. "Won't it be sort of inconvenient to the NPCs to have tons of people badgering them for candy?"

"Not at all!" said Yui. "This tradition is very popular in America, and it's fun for the people handing out the candy, too!"

"I guess that's one of the coolest things about RPGs," I said. "You get to experience things you normally couldn't in real life, like traditions from other cultures."

"Only certain NPCs are handing out candy, though," Strea explained. "They'll be the ones dressed up in costumes!"

"It's like a treasure hunt!" Philia jumped to her feet and grinned.

"Hey, let's see who can collect the most candy of all!" Leafa looked pumped up all of a sudden.

"You're on! But I'm not gonna lose!"

"Ha ha! Bring it on, Philia!"

"Oh! This is the perfect opportunity to wear the costumes Yuuki and I made!" Asuna approached everyone individually and opened the trade interface, giving them each a costume. When everyone changed there were all sorts of animals and Halloween monsters like vampires, ghosts, and a Frankenstein monster. "I have one for you, too, Kirito. Want to try it on?"

"I, uh, well…"

At that moment, Argo barged in and called out to me. "Ki-boy! How'd that little errand I gave ya go?"

Saved by the Rat. "Oh, hey, Argo. I managed to beat the Pumpkin King, but only because Premiere tagged along."

"Nice, nice. Tell me everything you can."

I told Argo all about Cucurbitus the Pumpkin King, where to find it, how to beat it, and what it dropped.

"No way!" she blurted incredulously. "An S-Class ingredient!? You're messin' with me, aren'tcha?"

"Nope, I'm totally serious."

"But from what you described, the boss is easy to beat once ya get the hang of it… Why would they practically give away an S-Class ingredient like that?"

"Holiday treat?" I offered.

"Heh, maybe. At any rate, here's the cash I owe ya for helpin' me out." Argo opened up the trade interface and dropped one hundred thousand Col in the send slot and pressed "accept." "There ya go, kiddo. Thanks for goin' through all that trouble."

"Are you sure this is ok? That's a lot of Col for a bit of information."

"You kiddin' me? This info'll sell for a fortune. One hundred K is nothin'."

"If you're sure…"

"Come on, everyone!" Yui, dressed as a tiny witch, was headed for the door with Asuna in tow. "Let's go!"

"Slow down, Yui, I'm coming!" Asuna smiled brightly as she hurried behind Yui and the others followed.

"Oh, yeah," I said to Argo. "We're about to go trick and treat or…something. You wanna join us?"

"Sorry, kiddo. No can do. I gotta get to work distributing this info."

"An info broker's work is never done, huh?"

"You know it. Thanks for thinkin' of me, though." She offered a sad smile as though she regretted not being able to join us, then waved and disappeared through the door.

"Kirito?" I felt a tug on my sleeve and turned around. Premiere, who also opted out of wearing a costume, looked up at me. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling down at her. "Let's go. We don't wanna get left behind and risk losing Leafa's contest."

Premiere smiled back and nodded. Then she grabbed my hand suddenly.

"Wha…!? Premiere…?"

"As you said, we must hurry." She headed for the door, pulling me along behind her.

"Well, yeah but…like this…?"

Without answering my question she giggled and broke into a sprint, heading straight for the first costumed NPC she spotted.

I smiled as I thought about how much Premiere had grown since we first met her. Back then she was a null NPC who didn't even have a name, much less a personality. We'd been through a lot with Premiere, and not all of it was good, so I was always glad whenever I got to see her enjoy herself like this, surrounded by all of the people who loved her. And as the small girl dragged me around the Town of Beginnings in search of candy I found myself looking forward to next Halloween before this one was even over.

. . .


End file.
